Thursday, June 2, 2011

Divorced Parents

Dealing with the situation...

If your divorced parents are on good terms, count your blessings. If they are not, or if their relationship is marginal, correct handling of these delicate matters can help avoid any unwanted tensions. There are several alternatives you should consider in planning your church wedding and reception arrangements to accommodate our divorced parents.

According to protocol, the parent with whom you have lived the longest issues the invitations. The other parent is usually not mentioned unless both agree to their names being represented. Protocol, however, does not always create good feelings. Try to include both parent's names on the invitation.

When you're introducing your parents to your future in-laws, it is usually proper to introduce the parent with whom you have lived the longest, then introduce your other parent shortly afterward. The bride's father should always walk his daughter down the aisle, except under extenuating circumstances. If that is not possible, a substitute can stand in for the father. A brother, uncle or close family friend will be fine.

Special church seating arrangements can help smooth rough spots. The bride's mother and her immediate family (parents, husband and children) are seated in the first row. The second row is left empty to afford a better view for the bride's father, who, after giving her away, is seated with his immediate family in the third row. The same seating arrangement pertains to the grooms family if they are divorced. The small amount of time and attention devoted to handling these matters will reward you with a day that is as free of tension as it can possibly be.





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